Tiger’s Worst Drunk Texts

What happens if his texts were published for all the world to see.

Tiger's Worst Drunk Texts

We all have the tendency to press send more easily as the night wears on. What happens if we were privy to what a drunken Tiger Woods is texting his friends? Here is what we suspect his texts would look like.

I wanted people to see all of my trophies. That’s why I contacted MTV Cribs.

My publicist said it only counts if it ends up on the internet.

So unmotivated tonight… who am I kidding? So unmotivated this decade.

“Being a father” and “being happy” are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.

Idk if I deserve a new endorsement or a one way ticket to hell.

Don’t you dare use my tequila-influenced words against me.

I got blackout last night and applied to be a caddy.

She said to stop saying “youths.” I’m 40.

How drunk is too drunk to drive a golf cart?

Does the term “on fleek” apply to golf clubs or just eyebrows?

Falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person.

Now all I have are unanswered questions and a messed up spine.

Nobody at the event wanted to take a selfie with me.

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