We all have the tendency to press send more easily as the night wears on. What happens if we were privy to what a drunken Tiger Woods is texting his friends? Here is what we suspect his texts would look like.
I wanted people to see all of my trophies. That’s why I contacted MTV Cribs.
My publicist said it only counts if it ends up on the internet.
So unmotivated tonight… who am I kidding? So unmotivated this decade.
“Being a father” and “being happy” are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Idk if I deserve a new endorsement or a one way ticket to hell.
Don’t you dare use my tequila-influenced words against me.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a caddy.
She said to stop saying “youths.” I’m 40.
How drunk is too drunk to drive a golf cart?
Does the term “on fleek” apply to golf clubs or just eyebrows?
Falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person.
Now all I have are unanswered questions and a messed up spine.
Nobody at the event wanted to take a selfie with me.